Children (and adults) who have experienced trauma, especially chronic trauma, can be affected in all areas of their lives. Even once removed from the trauma (neglect is also chronic trauma), the child is likely to have the effects in their overall functioning, thoughts, patterns and behaviors. It will effect how they interact with others. This is not pathology. For the child, it is survival and it is how they are communicating their trauma. Understanding the impact and how it seeps out is vital to providing true healing.
So what are we looking for? In a child trauma drama is behavioral and affect-related dysregulation.
It looks like: defiance, aggression, argumentative, explosive, hyperactivity, irritable, oppositional, over-emotional, with-drawn, sullen, attention issues, bi-polar or depression. We frequently mistake behaviors as the problem instead of what is going on inside the child. Being more effective in treating the underlying issues will help with the symptoms.
When we continually misread a child's trauma as behavior problems, manipulative, defiance or avoidance we then discipline the child for managing their trauma in the only ways they know how. This does not help them to resolve it, or heal. We (parents, care-givers, teachers, grandparents, etc) help when we intervene and support the child as we teach better, healthier ways to live. We must be committed to helping the child to feel safe even in their trauma drama. Primarily the family, not the therapist is the anchor for the child. A loving family is crucial to healing, but if everyone on the child's team (teachers, coaches, youth pastors, parents, & therapists) provide safety, there are more opportunities for healing and intervention.
Another key component in understanding trauma is the awareness of fear in the survivor. Fear can be masked with anger, controlled by manipulation, and reacted to by pushing people away. It is a core issue that our hurt kids may be unaware of and yet experience every minute of every day. Think about the behaviors you wish would change in the child in your classroom, or home and then think about what it is they are really afraid of and how they are managing that fear. How can you make it safe for them? Please keep in mind this fear and trauma response can last for years and has many layers to it.
How to help (taken from Dr. Sheila Sturgeon Freitas, Ph.D.@ www.drsturgeonfreitas.com)
1.Create Safety. Over and over again until they can hold onto this.
2. Help the child to understand their responses to fear and trauma
3. Help them share what they are experiencing
4. Recognize early trigger signs of trauma drama.
5. Remember the child does not feel in control, but that something is happening to them. They are fighting for control in anyway they can.
6. Help the child develop a sense of self and their life story.
7. It is okay to reflect on who we have been so that we can understand who we are becoming and our place in the world.
8. Help them with problems relating to others: it doesn't come naturally for this child. Understand the fear is all around relationships and need for protection.
9. Help them with their core common beliefs about themselves and the world around them.
10. Safety, understanding and love.
As I was working on this I saw on Twitter from Foster2Foster: "You may know my name, not my story. You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through."
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